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Illumination of the Heart

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I'm not much of a writer, forgive me. Morrowind makes me want to write.

"For the longest time, I have lived alone. A small hut accompanied by books and a few cooking materials, along with various unfinished crafts that I so love. The life I live frequently gets lonely, so occasionally I venture out to a nearby village containing my species, heavily populated and modernized. I get along with them quite fine, they are generous and kind to me and live an appealing urban lifestyle. I, however, long for something more satisfying. They all seem the same to me, the same personality, the same humor, the same clothes...it becomes boring and bothersome after some time.

There are no other tribes for hundreds of miles, and they are nearly impossible to reach. I have tried to venture through the foresty swamps for hopes of finding a way out of here, but I tire too quickly to go far. I have seen maps of places, so I know where I should be going. I wish to see...something new, and at the same time, familiar.

I used to be akin to the humans. A young maiden of 20, I still lived on my own. I had come across a bad potion at the black market. Instead of the teleportation that it had hoped for...it gave me this form. I've grown quite fond of it over the years, and have no desire to turn back to what I once was.

Upon one of my foresty wanderings recently, I had found a hut similar to mine. Curious, I knocked on the door, hoping to find someone new. A man, a human opened the door. He quickly lit up upon seeing me; not as a friendly greeting as I was used to, but rather...an attraction. I reciprocated immediately, as his features were captivating too. We quickly sat down together over tea (I despise tea, but it was worth getting to talk) and had conversations like I had never before. His sense of humor and charisma were far beyond anyone I've met before.

He commented to me, 'You have such beautiful hair and lovely clothing; one would assume that you were once a princess! I've yet to meet any of your kind quite as fetching as you.' I replied nervously, "Well, I was not always this way, I used to be human like yourse-' He cut me off quickly, hastily and intently, 'Truly?! That's terrific! How did you come about being in this form, then?'. I explained 'Being reckless as I am, I bought a potion that ended up turning me from human to what you see in front of you.'

He pondered with his hand on his chin for quite some time, his expression changing from intrigued to jubilant. After his pondering, he looked up, grinning. 'Here, how about a deal? I'm an alchemist myself, and I can change you back out of the miserable form you're in - I can brew a small potion every day that will slowly bring you back to your previous state! Hopefully your beast like...adaptions will disappear too, with a bit of conversation and habit re-forming. You'll be glorious once I get you out of your disgusting state, don't you agree?'

I was ashamed and nervous at what the man said, for I had assumed that he found me so charming for what I was myself, but rather, he was hiding his dismay at what I had become and loved in hopes that something else lied beyond it - something I no longer desire to be. He was trying to change what I had loved. The disgust and disappointment I was filled with at that moment cannot - and should not be expressed in words. But this man, was someone who I loved outside of his shallowness, and I knew would love to take care of me. I could go back to where I knew I was comfortable - or become something I once was - human and tame, for something more nurturing. The conflict I was faced with was uncomfortable, but I made my decision.

'Y-yes, that sounds like a...great plan.'
'Terrific! I'll see you tomorrow, then!' He exclaimed, grabbing my hand and jumping a little with giddiness.
I exited the hut, feeling bleak and downhearted, only feeling slightly optimistic, knowing that I someone else would finally able to be love me, even if I did not love myself."


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TornAroundtheEdges's avatar
this is so bootiful I know its old but for some reason I was going through peoples gallery and I was like damn I need to comment on this